#30DaysWritingChallenge Day 20: The One That Broke Your Heart the Hardest

Dear Paintingthesky, fuck you fuck you fuck you for today's writing challenge. I'm not so gonna remind about things that hurt me a lot.  But shit the game is already on so let's just be a good finisher.

I really hate to tell that......... the one that ever broke my heart the hardest is the one I love the most in the world.

He is my dad.

I dont hate him. Really I do love him.  So much.

But the one who can hurt us the most is the one that we love the most, right? RIGHT.

It was in 2008.

I was struggling that hard. THAT HARD. To get accepted in one of the state university thru SNMPTN.

One day I got a notification that I got accepted in one of the state university located in Bandung.  My SNMPTN second choice.

Happily I told my parents.

And try to talk about what my plan will be in the next 4 years of being a college student.

I already prepared everything.  The forms, the requirements.

I gave it to my dad.

And he threw those things away.

In front of me... In front of my very own eyes.

He didn't gave me any permission to go to that university.

I was crying.  For so long. For the next days I was not counting how many days it was.

The longest tearing-day I have ever had in all my life.

And I still can feel the pain even now.

The pain that I will never forget.
Even a broken vase is still leaving its glue marks.

It's 2014 now.

Almost 6 years passed since that most-fucking-day happened.

Nothing can make me down again, I will never ever concede my idealism anymore.

I will forget Jakarta. Soon. Soon.